Joel

Joel – Gone to Jesus
24/4/2021

Oh my heart!
Wretched pain
Piercing loss
Soul disdains
Parting sorrow
Not so sweet
I long the ache
“Cease to seep!”

All my griefs
From long ago
Return in part
With this new blow
But other griefs
Remind me too
Though pain remains
Ease can ensue

And so I sit
Within the pain
Of broken-hearted
Loss today
But I will seek
The pathway to
A joyful life…
Enjoined with loss of you

26-7/4/2021
Gina Marie

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Tomorrow

All our tomorrow’s, we’ll wake without you
And each new yesterday, the same will be true
Our sorrows will ease, but we cannot see how
And our grief will return, even as it does now

One day I’ll remember, you’re “the man with the plan”
I’ll think of your joy, that God’s grace makes you stand
When I’ll wake in the night, and think a message has come
Or pray with a friend, but hear your cries to the son

Sometime making a fudge cake, hearing a bike on my street
See your tea on the shelf, in the box where it keeps
I’m walking a path, where we’d go for a chat
And then all of a sudden, I’ll wish that you would be back

But I don’t really wish It, though today you’re not here
You were looking ahead to when you’d shed no more tears
Still I love you, and miss you, though I’ve bid you farewell
I’ll wake tomorrow without you, but my soul still can be well

1/5/2021
Gina Marie

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Stronger

When traumatic ways
Cut into your days –
Stronger were you

When you tried hard to flee
As shame tugged at your sleeve –
Stronger were you

When by mem’ry beset
Till finding peace was a test –
Stronger were you

Finding peace and rest in Love’s store
You longed to run to his shore –
Learned he’s stronger than you

Now in Love’s presence, on high
By Love’s wings, swept through the sky –
Indeed, Love’s stronger than you

Gina Marie
13/26 May 2021

When God Became One of Us

Matthew 26:36-46

From the scriptures I call the Bible, I believe that God became one of us. When Jesus as God in human form walked this earth, I see he remained God and chose to be a human living as dependent on the divine father and in community with other humans, as humans have been designed to live.

In his humanness, while approaching his mortal demise, he has brought along those closely connected with him, “Sit here, while I go and pray…” Possess this spot, this place…sit here, nearby, while I work through this heaviness with the father.

In his humanness, Jesus calls yet nearer those more intimately connected to him thus far…”Stay here and watch with me.” In this piercing and distressing walk toward mortal demise…stay, abide, endure, be present – in this place, with these things – with collected thoughts, vigilant, awakening…near to me, though I seek a space on my own with the father. Community.

As a fellow human to other humans, do you keep space alongside another – do I…do you keep alert, are you awakening to their person, their journey – am I…do you keep watch on their behalf – do I…are we community for each other…do we know that we need the ultimate divine spirit to enable us – do I?

24/3/2021

A Heart Sustained

Though pricked and squeezed, pierced and sliced

And even torn asunder;

A heart sustained can beat again

In strength as bold as thunder

 

Inner strength depleted

Internal resource spent

Outside working from within

Enabling life extant

 

Hope is only hopeful

With certainty assured

Repair brought only by sustainer;

Sole provision to endure

 

Designed and planned in foresight

In foresight – healed, restored, sustained

Supple vigour, from scars and healing

Wrought and fashioned; formed through pain

 

Life-giver and sustainer – Grace,

Bearing scars which stem from pain

Is only hope that my life’s sentence,

Will continue on – sustained

 

7/5/2017

Jewelsmith – Catherine the Jeweller

One alOne

To long to be with one you love

Should not presume one’s idolised

For when a love is placed there upon

The love’s determined, unionise

 

When one, then separation’s parting

Brings pain and strain and foreignness

Those joined and intertwined thereafter

Find torn apart, is meaningless

 

And yet, there’s only one I’m pleasing

One whose path I choose, my own

If another one will not choose with me

I’ll walk pain and strain, apart, alone

 

24/7/2014

Perfect Love, Casting Fear

Perfect love, casts out fear.

All your plans for me are good.

You will all my boundaries keep.

I will step where you have stood.

 

Help my unbelief, while trusting.

Even others, in your will decide.

You will still meet my provision.

See you working from the other side.

 

It’s hard! It’s hard! You know I want to.

You know I know you’re making sweet.

Everything works accordingly to,

Your purpose, pleasure; all complete.

 

I’ll never understand how coming

To your perfect good must be

So painful, cloudy, all-confusing.

Exhausted, lonely, messy me.

 

I know that faith is like a muscle;

Work it, stretch it, push, increase.

But adding onto faith and virtue’s

Not all that it’s cracked up to be.

 

And even Christ in humanness

Requested, if there ever be

A way to vict’ry over darkness

Other than what he could see.

 

But in his asking, full submission.

Never did he seek escape.

From end and goal, stayed fully focused,

On my release from my death state.

 

You’ve never said you like to punish!

Or see us with pain, inflicted on.

But when there is no other passage,

To life and light, then struggle comes.

 

I want to have an end-goal focus.

I cannot see those in between.

Lead me to the painful, joyful.

As all is goodness, unforeseen.

 

Gina Marie 17/7/2014

Even In Refinement – Beautiful Gold

Though refinement will go on until I leave this earth, the last eight years have been especially hot. In the heat of the furnace of refinement, the last five have been particularly scorching. The last two – three…white-hot!

The scars are not yet healed over completely and are still easily pried open. I am still who I am, and more who I am meant to become, because of so many who have held me up; or cradled me; or stood beside me; or battled with me; or battled for me; or battled with and for my children; or protected me; or clarified for me; or waited for me; or directed me; or even rebuked me (very gently).

It is my desire to share some of this love and community with you. My hope is that you will find some encouragement and direction from those I consider family, and not all are my relatives.

This from my sister, AZ:

…but when everything around us fails to give us what we are looking for or need, we need reminders to fix our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith, the Lifter of our head, the Guardian of our soul, the Beginning and End, the Almighty, Most Powerful, the Defender of our cause, the Source of our peace and joy, our All in All…We need to be able to stand in Christ alone, without needing anything or anyone else, that everything in Him is sufficient for me and for you, even though we may feel sad and hurt and lost. And then to be found in Him, to be restored, to be healed and hidden in Christ through the blessed blood of Christ Jesus our Lord. You are hidden in Christ! He surrounds you with His whole being, with His love He has already enveloped you, He fights for you every single second of the day and night. He never falls asleep or grows weary, though you do. He knows that you struggle, that you struggle so much and you are tired, your body and mind are exhausted. His love for you is all that matters, when everything else falls away, you still stand with Him, and He enables you to stand, because your legs can’t hold you up any longer. Keep fighting the good fight for your reward is in heaven. Don’t let the devil get a foothold for he prowls around looking for someone to devour. Stand firm then in the mighty power of God and put on the full armour of God, then you will be able to stand, rooted and established deep in the soil of God’s marvelous love. And even though you still cry, God our Father will count all your tears as He wipes them away. Your prayers to Him will be like sweet smelling offerings. He will hear them and He will receive them. He will honour your faith. He will make you strong and you are worthy of His love. I love you and I pray for you, so that you have prayer even when you cannot pray yourself. Stand firm and God will deliver you.

The one constant is the Creator of all things. Things happen to us, and around us, and because of us as a result of our choices. Trouble is not the Creator’s fault, but he will allow it and use it to make us who we were designed, redeemed and restored to be. In this process we are delivered by him, which may not mean we get everything we want or everything we lost or destroyed. But we will get much beauty and peace and joy, as well as white-hot fire, throughout this process of refinement. Who wants to hold on to anything that can be destroyed with fire anyway? Only the gold, the pure gold. This will remain, this I will hold on to.

Can you see some of the gold? Focus on those things because they are here to stay, they are what makes you who you are, what makes you beautiful, fearfully and wonderfully made.

Shared and Sharing Experience

I have just listened to Wes Moore speak at TED on how to talk to veterans about their wars. 

His comments directed my thoughts to other individuals and groups whose communities and families may or may not approach them, or may unintentionally offend or wound through ignorance.

Social media and other communication mediums are replete with those who have endured war, abuse, rape, disability, pain, physical and mental illness, job-loss, moral and financial bankruptcy, child-loss, widow-hood (I could go on), all looking for others who have shared in a similar experience and/or a place to be heard and valued.

My simple hope is that we each would take an interest and the time to discover what another’s experience has been like, and share our own experiences so that someone else may not feel alone in theirs. Talking about our lives is healthy for the speaker, the listener and our social connections. Not talking, asking or listening only breeds our sense of isolation, negative identity assumptions (of ourselves and others), and disconnection from each other when we all have a desire to belong – somewhere.

Flexibility and Reform

I have just read a devotion by Chuck Swindoll on Insight For Living titled ‘Flexibility’ and based on Acts 16:6-10.

And I’m wondering…

Could it be that inflexibility and traditionalism don’t necessarily mean that one always refuses to do a new or different thing; but that one does all things – new and familiar – with the same old attitude, traits, judgementalism, blind following (lack of discernment), conformity, demand, prejudice, partiality, fear, insecurity…Reforming the things one does, without becoming a person reformed?

Just wondering.

Oh, Mother of Mine

Mum wedding day

 

Oh, mother of mine

Whose love, so divine

Was comfort to all

Whenever we’d call

Inviting us in

After thought or at whim

Grace and mercy all round

Loving arms to surround

Providing tastes to delight

Waiting up in the night

Home and clothing so clean

Diligence gone unseen

Growing gardens of flowers

Beholding beauty was ours

Grace was personified

In your life, now glorified

A piece of us left with you

When to Christ’s feast you flew

What joy it will be

When greets us, Saviour and thee

 4/5/2014

I love you Mum, my mum

Dad and Mum wedding day