Merilyn

Been away. Saying farewell from this world to my step-mum. Loved. Missed. Always remembered.

 

In gentleness you spoke and thought

In quietness you moved

In otherness of focus

Was the path you oft did choose

 

In jest, your laughter hearty

In grief your focus set

In cheeky shifts of humour

Work with diligence was met

 

In children, love rejoicing

In grandies, care and pride

In family, time well-spent

Love with husband from on high

 

You saw beauty all around you

Brilliant colour from the rose

Form of mankind in all seasons

Adorning cakes and walls along your road

 

Determined, gentle battler

Crown of persistence on your brow

Hopeful, enduring constancy

Now complete and wholly sound

I love you

 

28/10/2014

 

 

 

 

 

 

Even In Refinement – Beautiful Gold

Though refinement will go on until I leave this earth, the last eight years have been especially hot. In the heat of the furnace of refinement, the last five have been particularly scorching. The last two – three…white-hot!

The scars are not yet healed over completely and are still easily pried open. I am still who I am, and more who I am meant to become, because of so many who have held me up; or cradled me; or stood beside me; or battled with me; or battled for me; or battled with and for my children; or protected me; or clarified for me; or waited for me; or directed me; or even rebuked me (very gently).

It is my desire to share some of this love and community with you. My hope is that you will find some encouragement and direction from those I consider family, and not all are my relatives.

This from my sister, AZ:

…but when everything around us fails to give us what we are looking for or need, we need reminders to fix our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith, the Lifter of our head, the Guardian of our soul, the Beginning and End, the Almighty, Most Powerful, the Defender of our cause, the Source of our peace and joy, our All in All…We need to be able to stand in Christ alone, without needing anything or anyone else, that everything in Him is sufficient for me and for you, even though we may feel sad and hurt and lost. And then to be found in Him, to be restored, to be healed and hidden in Christ through the blessed blood of Christ Jesus our Lord. You are hidden in Christ! He surrounds you with His whole being, with His love He has already enveloped you, He fights for you every single second of the day and night. He never falls asleep or grows weary, though you do. He knows that you struggle, that you struggle so much and you are tired, your body and mind are exhausted. His love for you is all that matters, when everything else falls away, you still stand with Him, and He enables you to stand, because your legs can’t hold you up any longer. Keep fighting the good fight for your reward is in heaven. Don’t let the devil get a foothold for he prowls around looking for someone to devour. Stand firm then in the mighty power of God and put on the full armour of God, then you will be able to stand, rooted and established deep in the soil of God’s marvelous love. And even though you still cry, God our Father will count all your tears as He wipes them away. Your prayers to Him will be like sweet smelling offerings. He will hear them and He will receive them. He will honour your faith. He will make you strong and you are worthy of His love. I love you and I pray for you, so that you have prayer even when you cannot pray yourself. Stand firm and God will deliver you.

The one constant is the Creator of all things. Things happen to us, and around us, and because of us as a result of our choices. Trouble is not the Creator’s fault, but he will allow it and use it to make us who we were designed, redeemed and restored to be. In this process we are delivered by him, which may not mean we get everything we want or everything we lost or destroyed. But we will get much beauty and peace and joy, as well as white-hot fire, throughout this process of refinement. Who wants to hold on to anything that can be destroyed with fire anyway? Only the gold, the pure gold. This will remain, this I will hold on to.

Can you see some of the gold? Focus on those things because they are here to stay, they are what makes you who you are, what makes you beautiful, fearfully and wonderfully made.

Forgiveness, Repentance

Repentance is the means by which one accepts forgiveness already offered.

Not the means by which forgiveness is earned.

Forgiveness is a gift given; not a right deserved; nor a commodity bought.

Repentance is the way in which one holds out their own hand to accept the gift of forgiveness offered freely.

Forgive. Repent. Accept. Be changed.

Shared and Sharing Experience

I have just listened to Wes Moore speak at TED on how to talk to veterans about their wars. 

His comments directed my thoughts to other individuals and groups whose communities and families may or may not approach them, or may unintentionally offend or wound through ignorance.

Social media and other communication mediums are replete with those who have endured war, abuse, rape, disability, pain, physical and mental illness, job-loss, moral and financial bankruptcy, child-loss, widow-hood (I could go on), all looking for others who have shared in a similar experience and/or a place to be heard and valued.

My simple hope is that we each would take an interest and the time to discover what another’s experience has been like, and share our own experiences so that someone else may not feel alone in theirs. Talking about our lives is healthy for the speaker, the listener and our social connections. Not talking, asking or listening only breeds our sense of isolation, negative identity assumptions (of ourselves and others), and disconnection from each other when we all have a desire to belong – somewhere.

Oh, Mother of Mine

Mum wedding day

 

Oh, mother of mine

Whose love, so divine

Was comfort to all

Whenever we’d call

Inviting us in

After thought or at whim

Grace and mercy all round

Loving arms to surround

Providing tastes to delight

Waiting up in the night

Home and clothing so clean

Diligence gone unseen

Growing gardens of flowers

Beholding beauty was ours

Grace was personified

In your life, now glorified

A piece of us left with you

When to Christ’s feast you flew

What joy it will be

When greets us, Saviour and thee

 4/5/2014

I love you Mum, my mum

Dad and Mum wedding day

Soz, Mum

Mum, I know that I’m not talking

To you as I used to do

When I was so much smaller

And I used to hug you too

But if you can just be patient

Till my brain and body grow

Once again I’ll want your wisdom

And maybe kiss you as I go

 

I know that when I’m angry

And you don’t know what to say

That I make you quite unhappy

So it’s hard for us to stay

In our home and be together

When I’m sad and all withdrawn

Staying in my room, behind the door

Even with the curtains drawn

 

But one day I’ll emerge from all

The darkness, out and in

Our communication slowly

Will no doubt begin again

I’ll be thankful that I have you

In my life to walk beside

Now I’m grown and we are family

And as friends, to love in life

 

 

4/5/2014