I find the illusion of having absolute control one of the greatest deceptions of my inner self.
I find the knowledge that I don’t have to try to be in absolute control one of the greatest comforts of my inner self.
My dilemma arrives as I desire absolute control. How strange to think it even possible that I could attain absolute control. Of what? The weather? Another person? My emotions? The future? The Past?
Is having responsibility the same as having control? What about management? Where does the ‘buck stop’?
If there is a Designer/Creator of all that is ‘the universe’, and I believe there is, then wouldn’t that Designer know how everything would work at its best? Wouldn’t that Designer have already determined what would result from operation according to design and/or against design?
What have I thought, what have I done when exhilaration or trauma have come my way? Especially when unforeseen or not as a direct result of myself in some way. When my mother died, having blind children, losing friends tragically…or when my children were born, friends celebrate an accomplishment, I have a victory in life…
The Creator I have come to know has proven Himself trustworthy; a promise keeper, just, a provider, among other things. He has proven Himself the one who offers restoration to design after I have initially rejected that design and found that I am unable to ‘operate’ properly; unable to understand or fulfil the original design thereby creating confusion, a mess.
If the Designer has provided a way for me to return to design, and I have taken up that offer, then all things will be being worked out toward the goal of original design, fulfilment, purpose, the joy of being who I was intended to be. Like the bird, enjoying the breeze. Sometimes I watch a bird fly, glide, dip and soar. They appear to often do so for the sheer pleasure of it. Not always to hunt, teach young, escape, ‘fly south’. They enjoy it because they were designed for it. If I’ve taken up ‘the offer’ then all things will be bringing me back to design. Sometimes that is the only thing to hang on to! The sure hope that there will be another side to come out at, closer to where I want to be, where I was designed to be. And the Designer will be there every step of the way, knowing how to direct me according to design. He has kept every promise thus far, why would I not expect Him to continue to be faithful? He has even given me a reminder that He is a promise keeper, knowing that one of the results of my living against design is that I forget and mistrust.
A rainbow is a thing of beauty, especially when found in unexpected places.
Rainbow in a waterfall.